It should have been a piece of cake.
The poems and images were collected and scanned into the computer. Alas, they were the wrong orientation. I changed to landscape. I cut and pasted; some of the poems needed to be back to front. More time spent in retyping into landscape orientation and rearranging images. Some of the images wouldn’t print off. I hunted through my photos, searched the internet for free images. Week one.
I sent a copy to the printer, ‘No’, he said, ‘we need the files to be in PDF.’ I searched my computer for the PDF conversion; I did have one, oh, there was an upgrade and the PDF file was never put back. I’ll down load a free file but it wouldn’t down load, an error. Not to be beaten, I emailed my computer whizz friend, could she send me a copy of her file? Then I had to ask how to use it. Week 2 had passed.
All the poems were now in PDF and set out in correct order. With the images, bio’s and contents page set to go. Back to the printer, ‘No, these files aren’t right. You need them to be this way. We could do the files for you but it will cost you.’ I despaired. I knew I could not create the files needed to print the book. Back to my computer whizz,’ can you help me?’ Week three
A new cover design, new images; can the images supplied by the authors be used in case of offence? Day one, she sent me the layout of the book as it should look. The printer contacted, were the files OK?
I held the book, the unachievable achieved. The awful fact; there were over 50 mistakes, lines were missed out, The book was a lemon, but no, it was me that was the lemon for having the temerity to think I was a computer whizz.
I needed to humble myself. I needed to admit my limitations. Having done penance I looked around, what next?
It occurred to me that God still loved me. I had stuffed up big-time but his love for me never lessened. I was still his beloved child, the apple of his eye, my photo in his wallet. I didn’t deserve his love but he over looked that because of his unconditional love.
I occurred to me that I could remain a lemon or I could get up and be the sweet orange God had made me. I chose to be the sweet orange. I discarded the guilt trip. I could do that because God had declared in Romans 8: 1, ‘There is now no condemnation awaiting those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit – and this power is mine through Christ Jesus – has freed me from the vicious circle of sin and death.’
The book was finally printed without error but I learnt a valuable lesson. Being proud and thinking myself better than I was is not pleasing to God. I also learnt that God loves me beyond beyond, no matter what I do. My standing with him is not performance based. Bless God.
RayHawkins is a man of action. lathe operator, church planter,
missionary to Africa, writer, father of three.
published by Wombat Books,
Letters to Anne is a 31 day devotional. The bite sized truths are wrapped in daily experiences of the writer Gwenneth Leane
published by KMPublishing contact and bought at firstname.lastname@example.org